Mothers Day present

First of all, i need to say that I love my son very much, and i realize that he probably did not realize that he broke my heart.

But....for mothers day, his teacher had him make up a little book for me. So cute! It was an "interview" with him, asking him different questions--such as: "What does your mom do to make you laugh..." to which he answered "Tickle me". Which is great.

However, as i read more into the book, i came to realize that i don t get to see my kids enough. Want proof?

Under things my mom always says to me. "Go to bed".
If my mom was a superstar, it would be for: "Working."
and, most heartbreaking of all....things my mom and i do together: "Nothing".

He did not leave that page blank, he actually wrote: "Nothing".

Now, i realize that work takes a lot of out of me--time wise (obviously), and stress wise. But for him to say that we do nothing together just made me cry.

I know he didn't mean that, but i have to wonder where my priorities are. I want to be a better mom for my boy. I just don't know that i can do anything about it. I want to be home for him, but i have to work. I don't know, maybe i can try to get one afternoon a week off early or something. I just cant handle having to see that page in my head every day when i sit down at my computer.

I DO THINGS! I play games, we read books, i buy things on a whim for them. We randomly went to a movie on a school nite. We watch survivor together. We go on hikes, and (weather barring) go camping as often as we can. I know that we DO THINGS TOGETHER. I just am obviously somehow not giving him the impression that he is more important to me than work is.

Anyway, that s all. I am frustrated and sad, and need to make some changes. But at least i realize now, not 20 years from now looking back.