STEAMROLLER...or...WHY I HATE PEOPLE

My first entry, I'd like to dedicate to my daughter...and the steamroller accident.

Yesterday, we were supposed to close on our house...didn't happen. To ease our depression, we decided to do something wild and crazy...and ate out for lunch. Ü Ok, so it might not seem crazy. But you may not have children. And you may not have ever had the privlidge of dining at what may be the most popular senior-citizen dining establishment (next to, of course, Golden Corral) in Logan. KFC. Weird. I don't get it.

Anyway, I picked up my husband and children and we went off to the healthy dining of KFC just in time for senior-citizen lunch break. Or perhaps, in their case, dinner! Regardless, it was completely overcrowded with what felt like thousands of seniors packed in to the lobby, and even more threatening to enter from all directions. Now, the faint of heart may have given up, and made the sacrifice of not quite as healthy alternative for a less crowded environment. We are NOT the faint of heart, although i would guess that if we kept up this eating plan, we'd have even STRONGER hearts--due to the layers of who knows what that are insulating the walls.

We warily waiting in line--we had to scrunch up behind the oldsters with the oldster smells. We were pushed between the "old man who hasn't showered for at least 4 months" and the "woman who has apparently decided that the more perfume she has poured on, the younger she'll look!". Our kids are actually quite well behaved up til this point, mostly due to the fact that we are so packed in like sardines that it would be nearly impossible for them to run around like the usual athletes they are, and that the senior-"WHAT?" and subsequent "BLAH BLAH BLAH!" at the top of their lungs so that they can avoid wearing the hearing aids that they have sitting on their nightstands at home for the really important things (like Price is Right!) and NOT for everyday conversation makes it unlikely that even if my children were yelling nonsense noises, that they'd stick out in any way (or that anyone would even hear them if they were!)

It was in this state of complete frustration that I finally made it to the front to pay. As i handed the cashier my card, I heard something all parents-who-dine-out abhor...the start of a wail. I have a three year old that can wail with the best of them. It started out slow, and escalated so quickly that i knew that this was no ordinary wail. She was hurt. Ryan was crouching over her, picking her up off of the floor and asking her if she was ok. I quickly grabbed my receipt and joined them (elbowing my way through the frail bones of the people to my left and right). I asked what was wrong, and Ryan, FURIOUS, let me know that she'd been run over by a mighty-senior-monster. Said monster did not even stop (in her desperation for food) to see if said little girl was ok.

Ok. I've heard the Jerry Seinfeld "I've made it this long, let's see if you can!" sketch a few times. I've snickered at the thought of a little 90 year old woman nearly invisible behind her steering wheel trying to peek into the rear view mirror and pulling recklessly into the road. But for some lady; some crazed-kfc-loving-senior to steam roll my little girl?? Here was a problem!

Sigh.

Ok, i'd love to give you a grand ending about how i stood up for my little girl. About how i approached this senior-monster and let her have it for the quickly appearing goose-egg on her head. But really--and sorry to have wasted your time here--I'm just a mom, whose first instinct was to take care of my girl, and make sure she was ok. So, glaring my way to a table--throwing out fierce looks to those that are looking at my crying baby and DARING them to say something to me about her--I hugged and comforted her, got her her food, and went about my day. Oh, and sweetly kept my husband from "laying the smack down" on the rude woman in the brown coat.